Sunday, 26 September 2010
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Ill Cheesed
Hello.
I'm a bit ill today.
I ate too much shit and now my body is telling me that i'm a fat head.
I hate my body for telling me this. I just want it to be kind and funny and warm and loving to me, but no. It insists on calling me fat head.
Well fuck you body!
Much Love x
I'm a bit ill today.
I ate too much shit and now my body is telling me that i'm a fat head.
I hate my body for telling me this. I just want it to be kind and funny and warm and loving to me, but no. It insists on calling me fat head.
Well fuck you body!
Much Love x
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Dolphins and other things of that nature...
Dolphins can go fuck themselves. This is my line of thought to the shark imitating bastards. What the hell is impressive or useful about dolphins? Flipper was a twat in my books....it was all me me me and Scuba Steve could shit in the nearest lagoon for all he cared.
I'm not actually out to make any point here. I want to write about shit just to get it out of my system.
I can finally write somewhere where I don't actually care who sees or give a fuck what they think.
This is actually starting to just sound abusive rather than funny....should i just moan or try and think of something random to put in here? hehe!
Let's talk about work.
My boss is great but he resembles an 80's wrestler equipped with leotard crossed with Santa and has the witted intention of a marble duck.
I sit day in, day out inputting lines of data into a computer which then processes into payments for contractors we use. I wouldn't mind but I'm sure I've fucked up a few times already but haven't been found out....yet.
The majority of my office is women....which is great for the eye but painful to my hearing holes with the likes of last nights wank-stained episode of Eastenders being discussed (I use the word "discussed" in the lightest term possible. "Warble" is a more appropriate and fitting attribute to use I believe).
Anyway, it's a boring job. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna piss off now and come back when I've thought of something more sensible to talk about,
Much Love x
I'm not actually out to make any point here. I want to write about shit just to get it out of my system.
I can finally write somewhere where I don't actually care who sees or give a fuck what they think.
This is actually starting to just sound abusive rather than funny....should i just moan or try and think of something random to put in here? hehe!
Let's talk about work.
My boss is great but he resembles an 80's wrestler equipped with leotard crossed with Santa and has the witted intention of a marble duck.
I sit day in, day out inputting lines of data into a computer which then processes into payments for contractors we use. I wouldn't mind but I'm sure I've fucked up a few times already but haven't been found out....yet.
The majority of my office is women....which is great for the eye but painful to my hearing holes with the likes of last nights wank-stained episode of Eastenders being discussed (I use the word "discussed" in the lightest term possible. "Warble" is a more appropriate and fitting attribute to use I believe).
Anyway, it's a boring job. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna piss off now and come back when I've thought of something more sensible to talk about,
Much Love x
The First In Line.
Hi and Fucking HELLO!
Wow, I think I may like this. A world to let my head out onto! What can I talk about? Sexy fish? Pineapple coffee? or even better.....My mum! haha!
I think first things first....introductions.
I'm Mr F. I'm in my late twenties and I have the emotion of a dead skillet. I currently work in a job I'm not 72% keen on and my love life is null and void at the present....which is probably why I'm on here and not talking someones ear off.
I'm keen to be offensive and funny at the same time so if I start failing in one area then I will need a kick up the anal cavity that is my mouth. I entrust someone will keep me informed of this.....I hope.
My head is a little fucked up and I have no quarms about speaking shit or letting stuff get out of hand.
All in all I think some of the stuff my head bleeds about needs more than a status update on Facebook....and more room to fit the flowery shit in (or the verbal turds you never want to hear me say).
I think enough of the introductions now. I'm off to explore what I can do with this site and then see what I can fuck up! haha!
Cheery-o motherfuckers! x
Wow, I think I may like this. A world to let my head out onto! What can I talk about? Sexy fish? Pineapple coffee? or even better.....My mum! haha!
I think first things first....introductions.
I'm Mr F. I'm in my late twenties and I have the emotion of a dead skillet. I currently work in a job I'm not 72% keen on and my love life is null and void at the present....which is probably why I'm on here and not talking someones ear off.
I'm keen to be offensive and funny at the same time so if I start failing in one area then I will need a kick up the anal cavity that is my mouth. I entrust someone will keep me informed of this.....I hope.
My head is a little fucked up and I have no quarms about speaking shit or letting stuff get out of hand.
All in all I think some of the stuff my head bleeds about needs more than a status update on Facebook....and more room to fit the flowery shit in (or the verbal turds you never want to hear me say).
I think enough of the introductions now. I'm off to explore what I can do with this site and then see what I can fuck up! haha!
Cheery-o motherfuckers! x
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